Project

 

My child has her very first school project due soon. How do I have a child old enough, wise enough, strong enough to face these kinds of things? How did we get here? 

She's a perfectionist. I'm learning that this is a very difficult characteristic to parent. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Hurry up already!?!? Just spell the word wrong for all I care. Color outside the lines.  Stop crying and asking for white out or erasers or wanting to redo it all. Just make mistakes and quit covering them up!!!!" But, she's just like me. I can't make her not be. She is who she is all on her own, and she's beautiful, and frustrating, and exhausting, and emotional. She works so hard. I just can't believe we're here... Both of us old enough to be working on school projects. My job is to let her do it the way she wants... even if it takes all week, and her job is to remind me that it's not my project, and it will be perfect. 

 

This really isn't about a school project, even. It's about the girl doing it. She's just so precious. Sometimes I feel bad that she's so grown up for seven. Sometimes I wish she were more carefree, more childlike, more of a free spirit only because I know how hard she is on herself.

 

This child who made me a mama also made me the proudest mama. We've grown up together learning how to do these kinds of things. We're learning our roles, not only for school projects, but in the bigger picture that God has designed for us.

She reminds me to be softer. She reminds me not to rush. She reminds me that my words aren't just mine, and that people are affected by them. She shows me how much good there is in the world, and she looks at me with so much hope. Her eyes tell me she needs me to be tender with her even though she's a force to be reckoned with. She's had to show me more grace than anyone ever has, but she's done it with a heart wide open. I'm pretty sure I'm the hardest project she'll forever work on. I'll never be complete. She's making me better though, and I love her for that.

 

 

Fresh highlights and a cheering section.

I had a hair appointment tonight. My highlights were grown out three inches, and I had two sad, sad blobs of grown out bangs hanging off the sides of my head like puppy ears. (Why won't they just grow out already?!?!) But, back to my appointment. I didn't go alone. You see, I have some people. My team. My cheering section. They show up whenever I ask them to. So tonight when I asked my friend who is a busy mama with her own full plate to drop what she was doing to just come sit next to me while I got my hair done... well, you better damn well believe that's what she did. She sat there for almost three hours just to be with me. Nothing to gain, no expectations. She just showed up.

Some may think, "Geez, that's so needy and pathetic. Who needs a friend to go with them for a highlight?" Well, girls, I think the answer is clear. I think sometimes, we all do. We're all the girl who needs a friend by her side here and there. We're all the girl who just doesn't want to do life alone some days. So many times, I think a lot of women LOVE being asked for help. We are naturally born with servant's hearts and encouraging our friends blesses us just as much as it does the other person. (If you don't know who you'd ask to be a part of your cheering section, I would love to help with that. email me)

And you know what? I hope my babes will grow up to learn about both sides of this game we play. I hope they know how to one day ask a friend to come to an appointment with them just because. But more importantly, I hope they will be the friend that goes. I hope they are a part of someone's cheering section. I hope Regan and Tyler show up for a friend and say,"I'm here. You don't owe me a thing. I wanted to do it."

Can you imagine what this world would look like if we all played both of these roles more often? What if we asked for support in both little and big things AND showed up to cheer each other on... I imagine that would look beautiful.

Mom is the loneliest number.

A lot of people would probably describe me as a talker. Lately, it's been in overdrive. I've been talking, and talking, and talking. I've talked to Heather, Suni, Ashley, Amy, and Casey. These names may not mean a lot to you right now, but they're filling me up. They're telling me the fire God has set inside of me is about to spread. All this talking has led us to one thing: women need one another.

The days of competive and judgemental motherhood are done. It's weak. It looks ugly, it's isolating to everyone involved, and it certainly doesn't glorify God. A while back, I actually was told by a mama that it wasn't worth her time to have friends. No. God loves community. God loves when we come together to breathe life into one another. I will spend my life showing others (and my children) that people are worth it. God created us to love one another, just the way He loves us.

We need one another to feel encouraged, uplifted, empowered, and to glorify God. We need one another to create a community of believers who can serve as models of grace and real life-livers.

So, how do we get there? Well, that's the tricky part, huh?

-Please, please do NOT tell me to sign up for MOPS. I have done this before and while I do believe there are many beautiful parts of this program, there's just something unnatural for me about driving to a place, signing my kid in and giving him away, and then sitting at an assigned table for an hour to discuss an assigned topic. I KNOW this blesses many, many ladies around the world, but me? I need more grit. Something more authentic. A raw look inside. (I must note: I gained one of my most treasured friends from my MOPS expreience. Hi, Heather!)

-Do we ask each other out on mom dates?

-Do we compliment one another's yoga pants, and then go straight in for the kill? How do we bless one another?!?

-Do we walk around sad places like Monkey Joe's and look for moms with kids similar in our kids ages, and ask them if they like coffee?

-Do I stop a mom at Target who is obviously struggling and ask her how I can help?

How do I get inside? How do we get out there and encourage? I absolutely know the need is there. I hear it over and over. Mom is the loneliest number. Sure, we're constantly surrounded by kids, and people, and more people. But, do they KNOW us? Do they touch our hearts? Do they inspire us to be creative, or to go to church, or to love one another better? Probably not? So how do we create these relationships between women to build one another up? So we don't feel so isolated. So defeated. So alone. So inferior. You know, some days, may we even need someone around to celebrate our successes with us! To pray with us! To praise the good in our lives! Life isn't ALL doom and gloom, after all. ;)

I think what I've come up with so far is that we meet these ladies where they are. We go to their house and just show up. We say, "Here I am. What do you need?" We start small. We work within our circle that God has already blessed us with. We don't need to move mountains. We just need to remember not to take what we already have for granted. Look in front of you. THAT'S how you start, right? Also, we need to plan a party and drink wine together because that encourages us too.

Lady power and love (some days my lameness even surprises me),

Rachel

We're planning. We're praying. We want to hear from you. Could you email me any ideas at rralstin@hotmail.com? Heck, if you know me, call me. (You know I love talking on the phone! I really do. So old school.)