Sunday, January 30, 2011

Baby #3.

A congratulations is in order folks. I became a mother for the third time tonight. The new baby is just precious. She laughs, coos, giggles, eats, drinks, and craps her pants. Yes, we purchased a freaking Baby Alive tonight. Like I don't have enough to do. Now, I get to spend my time caring for a plastic baby that needs fed, bottled, burped, diapered, and bathed. Good thing I have all sorts of free time to help Regan mother this piece of garbage toy. I know you're asking, "If you hate the thing so much, why did you buy it?"
Here's the deal. For Christmas, Regan got this Walking Go GO Puppy that needed walked and cared for or it flitted about and barked it's head off. Well, turns out, even Regan hated the thing. Score! So, I thought we were returning Go Go Pup for a sweet little doll. Ohhhh no, we got demon baby instead. Basically, we returned annoying toy A only to replace it with annoying toy B. Welcome to the family Baby Alive!You want to know the real kicker of the whole thing? You MUST buy special diapers and baby food for the thing, or it won't work. Demanding, expensive, and yet another responsibility! Yay! But, I must say, Regan loves this doll more than any toy ever. She had me teach her how to swaddle her baby, and it is now sleeping in it's own Pack-N-Play next to her own bed. So, yeah, kinda worth it.
In other news, you want to know what's sad? Mike and I got an unexpected date night tonight and guess what we did? We went to Toys R Us, to the mall to get Regan some new underwear at The Children's Place, and then to Target for plastic wrap and paper plates. Romantic, right? Man, I can't wait to see what Valentine's Day will bring. Maybe a trip to Kroger for milk and orange juice? Super duper sexy.

I totally freaked you guys out with the post title, didn't I? Suckers.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Top 10 reasons.

Top 10 reasons why today rocked:

10. I made a huge, homemade, delish breakfast for my babies this morning. We sat together with no TV, no phone, and no distractions. It was just us, blueberry pancakes, and lots of bacon.
9. We played, and played, and played this morning. Once again, with no distrations.
8. No one was sick, hurt, or in need of anything more than what we have. God is so good.
7. Hubby comes home early on Fridays.
6. I didn't die at Turbo Kick class.
5. We had Wendy's for lunch. The kids ate their food, and my Coke was extra carbonated and bubbly. Me likey.
4. Tyler got his fro cut off. Thank you Cookie Cutters. Baby boy was looking a little Joe Dirt.
3. Got all caught up on my Jersey Shore. Don't judge.
2. Dinner didn't suck. I made a recipe from The Pioneer Woman's cookbook, and it pretty much rocked.
1. There are so many healthy, sweet babies coming into our lives this year! This month has been a month of huge, big, beautiful news! Holla for babies!

How was your day, friends? Good, bad, ugly?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

What I learned today.

What I learned today...

-Not to force an earring through a four year old's ear right before preschool. Screaming, crying, and general madness will ensue.Then, said four year old will go to preschool 30 minutes late blotchy faced, bug eyed, and with only one earring in causing a crazy pirate vibe.

-Throwing Cheerios on the floor at the local candy shop really helps when a 9 month old baby girl is not in the mood for a photo shoot. It was kinda like feeding the pigeons at Central Park, but it worked like a charm. Poor baby.

-Don't blow out a candle while chewing gum.

-Don't believe by any stretch of the imagination that a strength class is a good idea. At one point, I was rolling around on a mat like a pig in mud. NOT pretty.
-Not to ask the produce man at Target if he has any basil because instead of answering, he will tell you he "likes your spandex."

What did you learn today?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Story time ain't so pretty.

Almost all of my most embarrassing moments since becoming a mother have happened at the library. Isn't that quite strange? It seems like such a sweet little place. Let me tell you how I have come to HATE the library.

It all started when I was a young, energetic thing who was all pumped about getting my kid involved. So, when Regan quickly approached five months old and was no longer a lump of baby, I was stoked. I looked at her, and said, " Baby, what do ya wanna do?" She could sit up at that age, so I was thinking something engaging and educational would do wonders for both of us. (Prior to this new milestone, we basically went to breastfeeding group once a week and maybe took a trip to Target, if we were feeling ambitious. Pathetic, huh?) I felt like she was ready for some real learning. So, I googled something like "baby learning." (Man, that sounds even more stupid now than it felt at the time. I've come a long way in my parenting since then.) So, the google search sends me to Baby Einstein videos. Turns out, she hated those silly Baby Einstein videos that make you wonder if somehow a hit of acid got slipped into your coffee that morning. Those videos are freaky! So, "we" decided story time at the library would be perfect! I signed her up, and off we went! 
We walk into "baby time" and all of these mothers with their 1 and 2 year-olds are singing The Wheels on the Bus. I think, oh man, we missed baby time. So, the librarian sees me walk in, and stops the song. She asks if I need help. I tell her I am looking for baby story time. She says, "Well, this is it, but your daughter may be a bit young. You are welcome to stay and watch, or you can bring her back IN A YEAR OR SO!!!!" Basically, if I leave, I look like an ass, and if I stay I look like an ass. I have already taken up about four minutes of the thirty minute class. So, what do I do instead of leave? I stayed. For the next ten minutes, the kids were to do a craft.  I sat there in a tiny chair next to a bunch of toddlers and made an elephant out of construction paper, while Regan sat in my lap and drooled all over the place.
Then, we were to get in a circle and tell our favorite animal and demonstrate what noise said animal made. All of the kids took their turns, and when it came to Regan, she obviously didn't say much. So the librarian says, "What is Regan's favorite animal?" Uhhhh, well, I hadn't asked her since she was freaking five months old. I replied, "A bear." Then, I did a little roar. I am officially the biggest loser. Ever.
That was the first time I was ever dreadfully embarrassed at the library. Throughout the next few years many beautiful events have occurred there such as:

-Tyler pulling my pants all the way down to my ankles in front of three librarians.
-Regan asking me how to spell centipede in front of everyone at story time, and due to lack of sleep or maybe just because I'm stupid, I hesitated. Then, I guessed. Wrong.( In front of about 20 mothers who all now know just how stupid I am.)
-Tyler getting lost, needing a couple of library aids to help find him, only to discover he was in the elevator.
-Tyler running out in front of a car in the library parking lot causing me to chase after him as our library bag broke and spilled our TWENTY books. I had four cars waiting on me to get my kid, roll around the ground to pick up my books, and walk away in shame.
-A librarian came to me and very nicely explained that children "must wear shoes in the library." Then, in return, me asking her if she had any brown Crocs turned into the desk. We went home with one shoe that day.

While I sincerely do want to instill a love of literature in my children, I freaking hate the library some days.

My girl.

Regan has been home from preschool for about an hour. So far, she has:

-kicked my boo-tay in Old Maid twice. We only played twice. She wins every time we play card games. And board games. And computer games.

-told me she has wanted a boyfriend at school for a while but can't find a boy cute enough for her. So, today she picked Cole. I guess he made the cut.

-informed me that she is "totally over baby stuff" when I asked her if she wanted a sippy cup of milk. 

-told me I was like a stool "cause I can always reach everything."-

-showed me "how to Dougie." If you don't know what this means, you gotta youtube it, and then imagine my four year old doing it.

-reminded me that I need to say thank you when she hands me the scissors.

-told me she was planning on wearing the "perfect leotard" to gymnastics tonight so she didn't have a saggy butt at the gym.

-made me realize how much I miss her sweet smile when she's off at school picking out boyfriends.

Where my guys at?

I have this cool little feature that lets me see who is reading and following my blog. (Readers from eight different countries so far! Fist pump!) And, so far, it seems I have one male follower. My Dad. Where are the other men? Well, they are as far away from HERE as they could be, surely. It's obvious, for many reasons, that males just don't follow this chick's blog for the most part. But why not? I think it would be absolutely AH-mazing to hear about a male's day to day thoughts. So, I would think, a male would feel the same. Wouldn't they love to know what I feel and think? The answer is NO. Ladies, they don't care. They have no desire to hear more of what I have to say whatsoever.

I assume, most males don't need to read blogs to know what a female thinks or feels. There's some study out there that shows women speak 10 times more words each day than their male counterparts. (Don't quote me on the statistics, folks. Just trying to prove a point here.) So, it seems, they already know that we think the grocery bagger at Kroger is weird, or that green shoes are awesome, or that the girl from cheerleading class has a Dad who has a sister that sells handbags. BLAH BLAH BLAH. They don't need our blogs to know us. We make it very easy for them to know us with all of the constant rambling, I'm sure.

What I'm trying to say, with too many words as usual, it that I really appreciate you reading and listening. My husband thanks you too, I just know it. I swear to you, I can have an entire conversation with him without him saying a word. I'm sure, most days, he just wants to hear quiet.

So, anyways, thanks for listening girls. It's been swell.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Fill your tank.

We were having one of those days. The house was a pit, Tyler shoved my wedding band down the drain, and we were simply off schedule. I was feeling the funk. So, instead of freaking out, I filled my tank. The minor adjustment that took place: red lipstick. Yes, in the middle of the day, at home, with kids running around like crazed animals. It's what made me feel more alive. A simple swipe of red, and I was good to go. I looked put together, and I felt like a grown up, instead of a lion tamer. We've now made it to nap time with no major mishaps!
Sometimes, the kids need their tanks filled too. When they're fussy and bored and emotionally falling apart, I know a tank is empty. So, we pack up and go. Wherever the wind takes us. Or, if Regan is starting to fall apart, I know she needs my time. A book, a quick date in the kitchen to create something yummy, or a puzzle. A simple 30 minutes shared will fill her tank for the rest of the afternoon.
We all need our tanks filled. Sometimes it doesn't seem like the responsible thing to do. Sometimes when I have a list of chores to do, I'll literally throw the list away, and take the kids to play. Or, if we are out running errands, and things just aren't going smoothly, we will instead visit the craft store for some browsing and a surprise. Because, life isn't about the lists. It's about working with a full tank. Whether it's lipstick, a Diet Coke, a trip to the park, a devotional, whatever. Make sure your tank is filled today, friends.

PS... Thanks to my friend Mindy for teaching me about tank-filling!

Sunday, January 23, 2011


I just put my son to bed. As I rocked him, and stroked his hair, and breathed him in, I pushed back tears. It was one of those moments, again, that I told myself to remember every single last detail of this very moment. I will myself to never forget the way he feels. He breathed in and out, was as still as could be as he became sleepy. I swear he was trying to remember this moment too. As I looked around his room, I began to wonder when exactly he became a big boy. Since when did he like cars, and trucks, and Buzz Lightyear? When did he learn to do puzzles? When did he start wearing a size 3T shirt? It's like he grew and changed without me noticing these little differences day by day. And then, all of a sudden, it was different. He was different. Sure, he still lets me rock him to sleep, as he did tonight. But, he felt heavier as I began to memorize each detail. His hair was longer. His toys were scattered about, unlike the days when he was content just being in his Mama's arms, never exploring all of the trinkets that fill his space. Tonight, I knew he would never seem littler than he did at that moment because surely he will wake up tomorrow changed. Again, he will be different than he was today.
There is still a bit of baby in him, though. He carries is blanket around when he's sleepy. He sucks on his pacifer to sooth himself to sleep. He cries for his Mama. I especially memorize these very things that make him seem so little. I watch as he falls asleep through the crack in his door. I watch as he learns to paint. I delight when he looks for Waldo in his favorite book. But, even as I try to bottle up every last detail and watch his every move, I forget. The details fade. I can barely remember what he felt little as I rocked him to sleep last year.
So, tonight, I rocked and forced these details not to leave. I searched frantically through the dark to see and feel this moment. My baby boy who is on the verge of being a big boy, his mismatched jammies and how they are snug on his belly, the black puppy he sleeps with waiting for him in his crib. I kissed him night-night. I took one last look around. And I asked him to please not change too much tonight as he sleeps.
I will see you in the morning my sweet boy. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. The good kind of hurt. You'll understand when you rock your baby to sleep. I wish there were a better way to say I love you. I wish there were a way to make it mean more than it usually does. These three little words do nothing for me. I pray that you know. I pray that you feel the love I could never explain. Every minute of pride, every moment of heart wrenching love, and each second of devotion your Mama has felt is because of you and your sister. For that, I could never repay you. Thank you for making me a Mama. Thank you for taking it easy on me tonight, and waking up your Mama's baby.

Friday, January 21, 2011

A day in the life of.

When I say that I stay home with my kids, some people respond by asking, "What do you do all day?" I never really know how to answer. I can promise though, that it is indeed very glamorous.

 We begin with a very balanced breakfast of cinnamon strudel coffee cake and orange juice. Tyler refuses to sit when he dines stuffs things whole into his mouth. This is very annoying to me, but he doesn't seem to mind.

We then move to the living room and pretend a bomb of toys exploded. 
 Then, we play with Chixo's. These are so much more work for Mama than they are for kids.
 I started a fire because we were freezing our asses off. I swear, if Tyler could talk, he would have said, "Yo. Mom. I'm freezing my ass off." It really was that cold.
 So cold, in fact, I checked my phone to see exactly how cold it really was today. Yep, shivers.
 Took this shot to show how hot I usually look throughout the day. Vom-it. Plus, I have a paper towel in the front pocket of my sweatshirt. So, no I am not preggo the way it appears.
 Next, we moved to clay. Once again, a huge job for Mama while the kids only sort of enjoy the activity.
 Regan loves crafts. Like, lives for them. I swear, she will be on the knitting team in high school. Poor kid.
 She picked this ultra fancy outfit out for herself today. She must have not gotten the memo that we were all going to stay inside and be disgusting. Oh well.
 She designed a person out of clay.
 She was very proud.
 Then, she was very sad because Tyler came and gruined (ruined) her creation. She yelled at him.
 After he was freaked out on by his sister, he just went and played with his Geo Trax. Regan then cried more and said she should not have yelled at him.
 Her conscious got the best of her. Hugs and sorries for baby.
 More hugs.
 Still hugging. Geez, Regan, it's not like you punched him in the face.
 Still hugging away.
 Yep, still.
 We're back on track.
 More Geo Trax.
 It's about 10am. Coffee time. I'm not one of those "right when I wake up coffee drinkers." I'm more of a get going, and then enjoy my cup of awesomeness.
 She is very stoked to play with her new "Totally Tattoo" Barbie. Basically, nowadays, Barbie has ink.
Totally digging inked up Barbie. And, Tyler's having a snack.
Now, Tyler joins in playing Barbies. 
 I direct him to trains instead.
 He then bores of train time, and basically just chills on the top of the stairs for about 15 minutes.
 I used that time to make my bed. See?
 I also washed out the crock pot. Glamor, I tell ya.
 Lunch time!
We are true health nuts. All organic, home grown, and balanced. Or not. 
While the children enjoyed their gourmet lunch, I ran upstairs of pick up their rooms before rest time.
 Do not be alarmed by the sheer amount of crap in Regan's room. It's cool. I have her signed up for next season's run of Hoarders.
 Hey, at least her room is picked up.

Tyler's room is also clean after a rough morning of not being able to prove there is carpet on the floor. They play HARD in these little rooms. 

 We read a lot.
 We also walk all over, stand on, and abuse Mama's furniture.
I found Regan reading her brother a book before his nap time. I love them.
 Ready for nap.
 Ready for "rest time" aka... read in bed for 20 minutes independently while Mama has two freaking seconds to pee, or blog, or whatever.
 I used my free minutes to clean the kids' bathroom.
 After, my little lady wanted some cuddle time. I'm down with that.
 At 2:30, I decided I should shower. It was beyond time.
 Daddy gets home early on Fridays. Yet another reason for TGIF!
I guess it's better than greasy hair and a brown sweatshirt that makes me look pregnant. 

Speaking of pregnant, my friend Jess isn't anymore because she had little Evan. I got to go visit him this afternoon! Hurrah for little babies!

So, that was our day. I love my babies more than anything in this world. I am so lucky to hang out with them. I never miss a second. And, that my friends, is my biggest blessing.

Tomorrow, Regan and I will go to soccer sign ups and to a friend's birthday party. (Happy birthday Sophia!) Then, it's double date night tomorrow night. Helllllll yeah! Because, after all... as much as I love my days with the babes, I love a night out with their Daddy too!