Today.

My kid was late to school today because of me. My other kid ate a whole bunch of Nerds. Like, a lot. I couldn't figure out how to work my Keurig this morning for coffee. So, I tried to make a smoothie instead. Couldn't figure out the new blender either. We had to leave gymnastics early because Regan had to poop. I had a bowl of Lucky Charms and a milkshake for dinner. So, yeah, today was pretty much awesome.

Lite Bright.

There's a Lite Bright in my bathroom that I'm not allowed to move. My sweet girl worked on the My Little Pony hot air balloon design today for an hour. She then took it into the bathroom because it gets really dark in there so she could enjoy her work and the "light" that makes it glow. We were both so proud of her work as we celebrate in the dark together. She, in fact, is so proud that the design is never to be moved or " messed up by Buddy." So, it remains in there. The Lite Bright got me thinking. There are all kinds of things around the house that are simple reminders that we have two little people in our lives.

 These things will someday disappear, just like the design she worked so hard on today. Art work and baby wipes and plastic jewelery and sippy cups will be replaced with more grown up things. The tiny clothes that I fold and the baby shoes that I place in closets will go away. One day bath toys won't litter my tub and magnets won't dominate my refrigerator doors. Robots and dolls won't line the stairs. It's going to be different, and I just don't want it to be. I want my babies little. I want them to wear tiny clothes. I want them to speak tiny voices. I want them to need their blankies, and want their mama when they cry, and not know all of the things that go on in the world. I want to protect them. I want to overprotect them and that be okay because they are babies. I forever want to strap them in car seats before we go on a ride. I want them young and beautiful and innocent. I want the Lite Bright in my bathroom.

About once a month the babes and I will be ripping through the aisles of Target or out for lunch and an older gentleman with wise eyes or a sweet grandmother will stop me and say, "Enjoy this. You're gonna miss it." I swear it happens all the time. And you know what? It's like a punch in the gut. It makes me weak. You know why it hurts? Because it's already happening. I know how true these words are. The baby days of Regan are already slipping. The harder I try to grasp them, the further they slip sometimes.  I know the man with the wise eyes who whispers that the days are shorter than them seem once rocked his babies and sang them songs. And now, he is eating alone at Panera Bread reminding me to enjoy my babies. I wonder where his are. Did they move away? Did they call him today? Are they married? Did he get to walk his daughter down the aisle? Did they ever go on "worm hunts" together?

Tonight, my friends, I'm just not okay with anything but my babies being babies.

Yo mama.

Today is the day that our kids pick us weeds and dandilions and present them with pride. They bring us homemade cards with shy smiles. They make us smoothies, and key chains, and breakfast or lunch. Whatever little gesture that was presented today was beautiful and perfect because it was from them.

I so love the precious little people we were given. About a million times a day, I look at my children and STILL can't wrap my mind around the fact that they are mine. I made them. I still am making them by being their mama each day, guiding them through this world. And you know what? I will feel this way until I am done feeling, which means my mama still feels this for me. That's the thing. Being a mama is forever, and if you do it right, the way my mom did, it gets better and better and soon your mom is not only that, but your best friend too.

My Mother's Day was filled with precious alone time with my mom and a rendezvous at PF Changs, a soccer game where my girl blocked and became brave and self assured, shopping with my mama and my baby girl, a cookout, a new blender from my husband and babies, a smoothie when I rolled out of bed at 10:30 made by my babies, a lunch with Mike's family, and a solo trip to the craft store! My Mother's Day was perfect. But, so is every other day with my two beautiful blessings. They are my light. Tyler's smiles, the new words he learns each day, and the way he hold s a special place in his heart for me just completely brings me to my knees. Regan's laughter, her dances and growing sense of humor, and her beautiful energy keep me hopeful of all the things she will do in this life. I never knew a love like this existed. It almost aches sometimes it so deep.

Whether you are a mama, missing your mama, want to become a mama, about to become a mama, are missing a baby that would have made you a mama, or are a GG, Mimi, Nana, Auntie, Grammy, here's to you. Filling this roll is the single most important job in the world. We have the power to make or break a child. We teach these young people what to expect of themselves and of each other.

 Regan made me a ceramic coaster with her picture on it at school. I tell you what, the gifts they bring home these days are AMAZING!!! No more noodle necklaces!

 She asked to take these two pictures of me/us because she couldn't wait to give me my gifts until Daddy got home to take pictures!

 She is my heart.

 Three generations.

Nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" like your husband chopping your head off in the only picture with me and the babies! Thanks hon, it's beautiful! That's okay.... I look like I need to go visit a chiropractor anyways. Nice posture. 

Yo mama so bald, when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.
Yo mama so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant.
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies.

School Days!

It's now May! Say, whaaaat! The weather would like to try to prove otherwise, but summer is almost here. This means that the school year is winding down for Regan. She has learned so much this year, and I can honestly say she goes to one of the best preschools ever! She now knows several Spanish vocabulary words, which she likes to try to show off to her brother, even though he's still working on his native language. She also is VERY into art and LOVES to draw. This chick would bite off her own finger to get the perfect shade of red if need be. She is so dedicated to her artwork. It really does make me so proud. She has also studied space, science, exercise and foods,  has begun very early reader books, and has just blossomed into this little person who seems so big sometimes. I attended her conference last week, and Mrs. Shelli had nothing but great things to share. She knows most of her lower case letters, all of her upper case letters, can write and spell her first and last name, knows her phone number, is social, and gets along well with other kids. We still struggle some mornings with her not wanting to go to school, but her teachers said they would have never guessed that because when she is there, she is happy! Because her birthday is July 29th, she only makes the cut off for kindergarten by a day. So we have decided to keep her in preschool one more year before sending her to kindergarten, just to be sure she is 100% ready to roll! The great news is, I have one more year to enjoy my baby girl before she goes off to school and leaves me forever.... waaaaahhhhhhhh!


A couple weeks back, Regan's school hosted Doughnuts with Dad. Of course, he is her hero, and they had a beautiful morning. I really wish every single little girl in the world looked up to her dad and could count on a man the way my girl does.

These pictures absolutely crack me up because Regan took her brother in for show and tell. You see, it was "T Day." And, while other kids brought in tape measures, T-Rex dinos, and other T word items, my kid brought in her brother. ('Cause you know, Tyler starts with T.) Hilarious, I tell you. The best part was all of the classmates asked questions about him like he was an inanimate object, just as they did with the other kids show and tell items. "When did you get that?" "What does he do?"I had to sit in the back and try not to laugh.

 She was so proud of him this day. He didn't have a clue what was going on, obviously. He just liked the toys!

Regan girl, you have learned so much at school, about your world, and about what's important to you this year. You are becoming quite the independent, brilliant little girl I always knew you would be. Your teachers love you, your classmates love you, and most of all... your family adores you. You are infectious. You are hard to win over and certainly do not wear your heart on your sleeve. You are tough. You stand up for what is right and for what you believe in. All the while, you do so with grace. That, kid, is hard to do.

I am so lucky to be your mama. If I could go back and imagine what the perfect daughter would be like before you were here, I would have  imagined and hoped for a girl just like you.