Monday, February 18, 2013

A new kind of love.

Valentine's Day has come and gone. As always, I hoped to create a day for my babies that was full of surprise, tradition, and magic. I knowingly get carried away and worry that I'm not delivering. In a world of Pinterest and room moms and Lexapro and 5 Hour Energy drinks and MORE, MORE, MORE, I worry that my best isn't enough. Honestly, in my mind and in my heart, I fear that the kids won't feel like I did enough to love, and create memories, or help them learn the lessons they need. It's easy to feel like enough is never enough. But, you guys, I'm realizing after a long, long time, that my kids don't need perfection. Actually, the more I try to make things "just right," the more anxious I am, and the unhappier I am. (Did it really take me more than two minutes to learn this?) And, if you want a happy child, be a happy mom. So, what does a happy mom even look like?

To me, she looks relaxed and balanced. She isn't sitting at the table by herself with glitter and a hot glue gun trying to make homemade valentine's cards FOR her kids while they are off doing something else. She isn't sitting at the computer or looking at her phone while her kids are playing alone. (GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND PHONE ALREADY!) She speaks to her kids with kindness. She builds her children up by speaking softly, slowly, and with respect. She gives her children time. She is loving and patient. A mom's job isn't to craft, or pin, or make oragami owls, or keep a perfect house, or buy extravagant gifts or clothes, or feed five course vegan meals. It simply is to love. So, this year, we bought Barbie and bug Valentine's Day cards from Target. (The horror!) We didn't make Valentine cupcakes, or any fancy cupid crafts, or buy any new Vanetine shirts. We cut out the extras.

I showed up at both kid's schools for their parties. I gave them my time. We ate pancakes for lunch and celebrated at Dairy Queen for family date night. And you know what? Those kids loved every damn minute. I'm pretty sure it had a bit to do with the fact that I wasn't scrambling around trying to create my vision of the perfect holiday. I focused more on them than what the day "should" look like.  I don't think they were too disappointed. :)